Thursday, May 31, 2012

T-38 hours and counting!

It's finally happening. I have a date, I have my airline tickets, my bags are packed and I'm down to the final details of situating the kids here.
In 38 hours I'll be boarding the plane to meet Kolina and bring home Maria.
As my state-side facilitator said "God must have some great things in store for Maria for satan to be fighting back so hard!!! " There has been delay after delay on this adoption and finally my daughter is coming home.
I'm also meeting little Kolina for the first time. I'm trying hard to get my head in the right place for this meeting. I just don't know what to expect with her. The latest pictures of her, after the hospital stay, make her look fairly good. But if the wretched place she in which she is living doesn't keep up with what she needs, then she could easily have back slid into the scrawny near death condition she was in last December. 19 lbs at 9 years old.
My friend Margaret's grandson born last Saturday weighed in at birth at over 9 pounds. It's unimaginable that Kolina weighs only 10 lbs more than a newborn. Most babies double their birth weight in a year.
I also dread seeing her and then leaving her there for another 6+ months. I'm a pretty tough old bird, but I'm not sure this old bird can walk away and ever be the same. The place she has been in for 9 years is hell on earth for kids with disabilities. How do you walk away and leave your starving baby in hell? I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength....did He really mean this too?


Julia said...

OH I KNOW... I can't imagine how you will leave her but lets focus on meeting her first... meeting her and holding her and loving on her and giving her a tiny taste of what love means. And during the time when you are gone... the angels in heaven are going to be whispering hope in her ears. I know this. These kids are precious in His sight and since He was the one who called you to go... He's going to be the one who watches and keeps her in His care. So go in peace that she is NOT alone. She has angels keeping watch around her bed. Though man would deem her unfit for society - God has deemed her precious in His sight.

Linda said...

Julia thank you for your words of encouragement. I do know that He is with her and I know He led me to her. Just thinking too far ahead again! Thanks for the reminder! :-)