Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Second Day-Afternoon visit
I need to add something that I forgot about this morning's visit. Marty and I were waiting in the lobby for them to bring Maria down and there she was with a different caretaker. She saw me and came over with a hug and then immediately started to sign "shoe" and chanted "shoe, shoe, shoe." The caretaker didn't understand but thought it was soemthing they apparently do with the kids so she started in doing some exercises with her. touching her toes and then stretching to the right and then the left. The whole time the woman was chanting something and Maria was keeping pace with the motions and chanting in time with the woman (although not with words). Just another example of how smart this little girls is...and her refrral says she is "severely lagging behind in her mental ability." Nowhere near severe!
Julia, the Bulgaria womens soccer team is staying in our hotel! They are in the restaurant each meal with us too! Very cool red sweats that say Bulgaria across the back. So this afternoon the caregiver brought her down to the visit room and sure enough little Miss Routine got in the stroller and started in with the "tap the shoe and knee" game! We then moved into the flash cards and each time she is attempting approximations with the English color words. Then I moved her out of the stroller and distracted her from the stroller with marking pens and paper. She sat for the longest time carefully taking out each marker and taking the lid off, trying to color with these dried up pens and then carefully replacing the cap and putting each one back in the bag.
Each visit she is more sure of herself and more vocal. She is also smiling and laughing more. What a joy to watch this little person unfold!
For my next magic trick I will attempt to post some video! This shouldn't be tried at home. :-)
Second Day -first visit
This is one smart girl! She got right back up into the stroller and started our "Tap the shoe and knee" game. Then we went through the flash cards again and she really started trying to say the names of the colors. And when we got to the cards that had a picture of Donald Duck on it she said "duck".
And the director allowed us to see Mary's little boy Martin. They brought him in and he went straight to Toni and wanted up! Mary had made a very cool book for him out of the pictures from their visit with him and he sat and looked at the pictures on Toni's lap. It was a short visit, but I'm sure it's reassuring for Mary that we got to have our eyes on him and see that he's healthy and happy. We weren't allowed to take pictures of him.
I finally convinced Maria to get out of the stroller and she went over to the little table that had a bag of colored markers on it. She took all of them out of the bag and tried to write with them. They were mostly dried up and she wasn't successful but she didn't get frustrated. She just started taking off the caps and putting them back on. Hey Leslie, you aren't the only leftie anymore. Maria is definately prefering her left hand!
While she was looking at those I got out my measuring tape to see if she would let me measure her and she took the tape from me and immediately wrapped it around her waist and then her head! She knew exactly what the tape measure was for! She let me measure her and then I took her shoe off to trace her foot. She held still and after she got her shoe back on, she took her other shoe off and put it on the paper! She wanted both feet on that paper. What a doll. She's 40" tall. I think that's what Molly is. Jessica can you measure her and e-mail me? Thanks.
And Mom- she had on a pair of size 8 tennis shoes and they were too big- check out Beth's shoes, I think the new ones are bigger than that! (Beth is two years old)
And before we left today, Toni got her to say "Mama". It doesn't get much better than this!
And the director allowed us to see Mary's little boy Martin. They brought him in and he went straight to Toni and wanted up! Mary had made a very cool book for him out of the pictures from their visit with him and he sat and looked at the pictures on Toni's lap. It was a short visit, but I'm sure it's reassuring for Mary that we got to have our eyes on him and see that he's healthy and happy. We weren't allowed to take pictures of him.
I finally convinced Maria to get out of the stroller and she went over to the little table that had a bag of colored markers on it. She took all of them out of the bag and tried to write with them. They were mostly dried up and she wasn't successful but she didn't get frustrated. She just started taking off the caps and putting them back on. Hey Leslie, you aren't the only leftie anymore. Maria is definately prefering her left hand!
While she was looking at those I got out my measuring tape to see if she would let me measure her and she took the tape from me and immediately wrapped it around her waist and then her head! She knew exactly what the tape measure was for! She let me measure her and then I took her shoe off to trace her foot. She held still and after she got her shoe back on, she took her other shoe off and put it on the paper! She wanted both feet on that paper. What a doll. She's 40" tall. I think that's what Molly is. Jessica can you measure her and e-mail me? Thanks.
And Mom- she had on a pair of size 8 tennis shoes and they were too big- check out Beth's shoes, I think the new ones are bigger than that! (Beth is two years old)
And before we left today, Toni got her to say "Mama". It doesn't get much better than this!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Pictures!
I just lost the whole post from the afternoon visit. Don't know where to find the saved copy and too tired to reccreate - just know that this afternoon was at least as wonderful as the morning!
Meanwhile Back at the Orphanage
Lunch eaten, battery charged, back to the orphanage!Kids, meet your new sister, Maria Christine!
You are going to have so much fun with her!
We walked back into the visit room and she immediately went straight to the stroller and got in and just as quickly grabbed my hand to play a quick game of "Pat my shoe and knee". I did a round or two of pats, but when I stopped, she grabbed my hand and pulled it to her knee to start the game again. I waited. I had showed her earlier today to put her hand gently on my arm and that would signify that she wanted to play again. Stubborn! She has met her match! She wouldn't meet my eyes, but she just kept tugging at my arm to get me to start it again. She would glance sideways at me, but not turn her head. I waited. Finally I moved her hand up to my arm and showed her what to do and she snatched her hand away and went back to tugging on my hand. And still I waited. Finally with a big sigh, she rubbed my arm very quickly and just as quickly pulled it away as if to say "Ok you win this time, but I don't like it!"
Tracy, then we played with your "Touched By Adoption" Bracelot. She found it on my arm and I took it off and put it on her arm. Then she took it off hers and put it back on mine. Then I put it on her shoe and she giggled!
Then I saw what seals that she is a true Duncan....I took out a little cardboard book and handed it to her. She studied that book and the turned the pages for about 20 minutes. Looking over and over at the pictures. It was an Elmo "Humptey Dumptey" book and luckily I knew the poem by heart and I started reciting it while she turned the pages and she would go through the whole book and then go back to the front. Then she started babbling like she was telling the story! No words, but lots of wonderful babbling.
Then I took out a set of flashcards with Disney Characters and colored shapes on them and started handing them to her one by one. With each one I would tell her the color. And she would look carefully at it and then set it down, then next one and set it down carefully on top of the other one. When one would not sit quite right on the stack she would fix the card until it was right. (maybe she'll keep her room straight?) We went through 34 cards twice and a few times she tried to immitate the word I was saying.
This child has amazing focus and concentration. She sat in the stroller virtually for two whole visits and focused on what we were doing longer than I would have ever guessed. I did take her out for the last few minutes and she wanted to get back in. Tomorrow I'm going to try to put the stroller out in the hall so she'll have to choose something else to do.
She let me carry her up to the where the caretaker was and she wanted to stay with me. This time I think it was wanting to stay with me and not disappointment about not going outside. The hard part is going to be Friday knowing that after she's had this fun week she won't have that again for 4-5 months. That is heartbreaking. Ok - going to try to add some more pictures.
I found it! This post was lost and so there will be duplicate pictures, but I'm so grateful to my RR /Dream Bulgaria friends who helped me find it again! So this was yesterday (Monday)afternoons visit.
Maria!
Today I met Maria! Let's sign those papers and take her home! I'm ready - she's all I thought she'd be and more. To say I am smitten with this little girl is an understatement.
She walked into the lobby holding a caretaker's hand and I would have recognized her if I met her on the street. Same haunting dark brown eyes and pixie cut hair. What surprised me is how small she is. I will take measurements but she is not as big as Lucas maybe a little taller than Molly, but she is built most like Beth. (She is 8 years old - a few months older than Myia, but more delayed than Molly is now who is 4)
She is very long and lean (skinny but not like a starving child). She was wearing a pink coat and orange pants and she was chewing on a carrot stick. It was a surpirse that she was eating such coarse food. I expected her diet to be all pureed food. She nibbled on that carrot most of the way through the visit until she accidently dropped it on the floor.
Maria...it's so hard to believe I'm here and already writing about her. Now that I'm back in the hotel for the lunch break, it's back to feeling surreal. (The whole plane ride here felt like a dream) But during the visit was very real. Now I almost feel like I dreamt that hour and a half.
Her little personality- within 5 minutes she was smiling! That was a big surprise as all her pictures were of that sad little face. But she flashed a guarded smile within 5 minutes.
The caregiver walked her to the visiting room and sat her in a stroller that was in the room and she sat there for more than 30 minutes. Didn't even try to get out. I started playing little tapping games on her shoes (dying to pick her up and hold her, but knowing I'd better move slowly with getting to close.) I would tap her shoes with my fingers and then click her shoes together 3 times and then I would pause and then repeat it. Within a few minutes she was moving her foot over to me to do it again. After several minutes of that I started chanting "shoes, shoes, shoes" and then pause for her to move her foot over. Then I didn't start up again when she moved her foot over. I took her hand and put it on my arm and said "More mama". Within one repeat she had learned to put her hand on my arm to get the game started again. All the while that guarded little smile and a giggle that warmed my heart.
Then came the big surprise.... after I chanted "shoes, shoes shoes" while taping her foot, she said "shoe" both Toni and I heard it and we thought it was amazing but probably a fluke....but within minutes of hearing her say it the first time she would chant "shoe, shoe shoe" when I stopped saying it. Soon we were taking turns I would chant it, and then she would chant it while I tapped her shoes. Then we moved to tapping my shoe and when I crossed my leg so she could see my shoe, she crossed her leg to match what I was doing! It was so amazing. We never played with a toy in the room or my bag the whole visit. She played the shoe game for most of the hour and a half visit! I think I tired of it before she did - but then she remembered she was sitting in the stroller with her coat on and she wanted to go outside.
When you were here, Mary, I understand that it was 80 degrees and sunny - today is gray, windy, a little sprinkle and about 60 degrees! (Toni is freezing and I feel right at home in this weather) It was just too cold to go outside so to distract her we started snapping and unsnapping the stroller seat belt. She tried with such good concentration and couldn't do it, but with her gesturing asked me for help. I did take her out of the stroller for a bit, but she wanted right back in because she wanted to go outside.
Why aren't there pictures? Well, (my children will laugh about this one...)I pulled out my camera snapped one picture and the battery was dead...go ahead Duncan children laugh at your Mama! Luckily I have my back up battery and the charger with me so this afternoon's visit I will have a charged battery and will attempt to post some pictures tonight.
When the visit was over I carried her upstairs to give her back to the caregiver and when she put her arms out to take Maria, she turned back and hugged onto my neck. It felt good, but I know the reason that happened. She thought we were going outside, not back to her orphanage floor. But once she realized she was not going outside she went into the caretakers arms and the woman gave Maria a kiss on the cheek. I liked seeing that affection from the caretaker. It's obvious that she is well cared for and they like her. (what's not to like!)
Also another good sign from that same caretaker. When she walked into the room with Maria at first she told Maria (in Bulgarian) "Look, this is your mama!" I thought that was a very good sign that they are supportive of the adoption.
And for all my Dream Bulgaria friends...I don't even have to tell you how amaizng Toni and Martin and her family is. Everything all of you blog about them is true. What a blessing they are to these children. The really do love each one of them and are just as excited to see them during the visit.
The hotel is great - the restaurant is in the hotel and they charge the meals to the room so I can just pay the whole thing with my credit card at the end. The food is good and relatively inexpensive. And mom-they don't serve beets! At first I didn't see that the menu was also in English, so I asked Toni to order for me, but just no beets. and she said - "No beets here!" That was good news!
The plane ride was so-o long. We left on time, 1:30pm (Pacific) and landed in Amsterdam at 10:40pm (Pacific) and I was in Sofia at 4:30 am Sunday morning (Pacific) - of course it was really 2:30pm Bulgaria time. I didn't sleep on the plane. It was too early on the long flight to go to sleep (I know,kids, I'm usually asleep by 10:40pm - but I knew I would have to get off the plane around that time so I didn't want to go to sleep. Then I had almost a 3 hour layover in Amsterdam, and then I tried to sleep on the plane to Sofia, but it was only going to be a 3 hour flight - I didn't fall asleep. But once I saw Toni and Martin at the airport I got a second wind and finally went to bed around 8:30 pm Bulgaria time.
On the first plane ride I sat next to a man my age who was travelling on to Uganda to build water wells! He lives on Bainbridge Island and the Rotary Club has put in 120 wells there and built a school and some other buildings. He was very passionate about what they've accomplished there.
On the second plane I sat next to a young man from Holland who is a fire fighter and he and his boss were traveling to different European Cities to learn how they do emergency preparedness. So a lot of good conversation and a lot of sandwiches on the planes (Sandy, come and walk with me!)
I miss my kids, home, family and friends, but I'm so glad and grateful that God has allowed me to come here to see my Maria. She has so much potential and she will fit into our family just perfectly!
She walked into the lobby holding a caretaker's hand and I would have recognized her if I met her on the street. Same haunting dark brown eyes and pixie cut hair. What surprised me is how small she is. I will take measurements but she is not as big as Lucas maybe a little taller than Molly, but she is built most like Beth. (She is 8 years old - a few months older than Myia, but more delayed than Molly is now who is 4)
She is very long and lean (skinny but not like a starving child). She was wearing a pink coat and orange pants and she was chewing on a carrot stick. It was a surpirse that she was eating such coarse food. I expected her diet to be all pureed food. She nibbled on that carrot most of the way through the visit until she accidently dropped it on the floor.
Maria...it's so hard to believe I'm here and already writing about her. Now that I'm back in the hotel for the lunch break, it's back to feeling surreal. (The whole plane ride here felt like a dream) But during the visit was very real. Now I almost feel like I dreamt that hour and a half.
Her little personality- within 5 minutes she was smiling! That was a big surprise as all her pictures were of that sad little face. But she flashed a guarded smile within 5 minutes.
The caregiver walked her to the visiting room and sat her in a stroller that was in the room and she sat there for more than 30 minutes. Didn't even try to get out. I started playing little tapping games on her shoes (dying to pick her up and hold her, but knowing I'd better move slowly with getting to close.) I would tap her shoes with my fingers and then click her shoes together 3 times and then I would pause and then repeat it. Within a few minutes she was moving her foot over to me to do it again. After several minutes of that I started chanting "shoes, shoes, shoes" and then pause for her to move her foot over. Then I didn't start up again when she moved her foot over. I took her hand and put it on my arm and said "More mama". Within one repeat she had learned to put her hand on my arm to get the game started again. All the while that guarded little smile and a giggle that warmed my heart.
Then came the big surprise.... after I chanted "shoes, shoes shoes" while taping her foot, she said "shoe" both Toni and I heard it and we thought it was amazing but probably a fluke....but within minutes of hearing her say it the first time she would chant "shoe, shoe shoe" when I stopped saying it. Soon we were taking turns I would chant it, and then she would chant it while I tapped her shoes. Then we moved to tapping my shoe and when I crossed my leg so she could see my shoe, she crossed her leg to match what I was doing! It was so amazing. We never played with a toy in the room or my bag the whole visit. She played the shoe game for most of the hour and a half visit! I think I tired of it before she did - but then she remembered she was sitting in the stroller with her coat on and she wanted to go outside.
When you were here, Mary, I understand that it was 80 degrees and sunny - today is gray, windy, a little sprinkle and about 60 degrees! (Toni is freezing and I feel right at home in this weather) It was just too cold to go outside so to distract her we started snapping and unsnapping the stroller seat belt. She tried with such good concentration and couldn't do it, but with her gesturing asked me for help. I did take her out of the stroller for a bit, but she wanted right back in because she wanted to go outside.
Why aren't there pictures? Well, (my children will laugh about this one...)I pulled out my camera snapped one picture and the battery was dead...go ahead Duncan children laugh at your Mama! Luckily I have my back up battery and the charger with me so this afternoon's visit I will have a charged battery and will attempt to post some pictures tonight.
When the visit was over I carried her upstairs to give her back to the caregiver and when she put her arms out to take Maria, she turned back and hugged onto my neck. It felt good, but I know the reason that happened. She thought we were going outside, not back to her orphanage floor. But once she realized she was not going outside she went into the caretakers arms and the woman gave Maria a kiss on the cheek. I liked seeing that affection from the caretaker. It's obvious that she is well cared for and they like her. (what's not to like!)
Also another good sign from that same caretaker. When she walked into the room with Maria at first she told Maria (in Bulgarian) "Look, this is your mama!" I thought that was a very good sign that they are supportive of the adoption.
And for all my Dream Bulgaria friends...I don't even have to tell you how amaizng Toni and Martin and her family is. Everything all of you blog about them is true. What a blessing they are to these children. The really do love each one of them and are just as excited to see them during the visit.
The hotel is great - the restaurant is in the hotel and they charge the meals to the room so I can just pay the whole thing with my credit card at the end. The food is good and relatively inexpensive. And mom-they don't serve beets! At first I didn't see that the menu was also in English, so I asked Toni to order for me, but just no beets. and she said - "No beets here!" That was good news!
The plane ride was so-o long. We left on time, 1:30pm (Pacific) and landed in Amsterdam at 10:40pm (Pacific) and I was in Sofia at 4:30 am Sunday morning (Pacific) - of course it was really 2:30pm Bulgaria time. I didn't sleep on the plane. It was too early on the long flight to go to sleep (I know,kids, I'm usually asleep by 10:40pm - but I knew I would have to get off the plane around that time so I didn't want to go to sleep. Then I had almost a 3 hour layover in Amsterdam, and then I tried to sleep on the plane to Sofia, but it was only going to be a 3 hour flight - I didn't fall asleep. But once I saw Toni and Martin at the airport I got a second wind and finally went to bed around 8:30 pm Bulgaria time.
On the first plane ride I sat next to a man my age who was travelling on to Uganda to build water wells! He lives on Bainbridge Island and the Rotary Club has put in 120 wells there and built a school and some other buildings. He was very passionate about what they've accomplished there.
On the second plane I sat next to a young man from Holland who is a fire fighter and he and his boss were traveling to different European Cities to learn how they do emergency preparedness. So a lot of good conversation and a lot of sandwiches on the planes (Sandy, come and walk with me!)
I miss my kids, home, family and friends, but I'm so glad and grateful that God has allowed me to come here to see my Maria. She has so much potential and she will fit into our family just perfectly!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Two more daughters
I haven't told many people this time about my upcoming adoption. People already shake their heads and wonder why the crazy lady is adding to what has been termed "a mega family".
The why isn't important. What is important is the who.
The who is Maria. The who is Sofia. These are two little girls, half way around the world, who have lived in institutions for their whole lives. No family, no visitors, no party dresses, no Sunday school, no hope. Maria is now 8 years old and Sofia almost 10.
Maybe the why is hope. Maybe that's what I can offer to them, besides being part of a mega family. I can offer them hope. Maybe that is what is driving me....and it's not just hope for them. This is a rotten time to be traveling. spending money, bringing home extra mouths to feed. But by defying the world economy and forecasts of doom, adding to my family now is a sign of hope that life goes on. An act of faith that I am doing the Father's work.
What I've learned over the past 19 years of taking in orphans, is that being part of a mega family has many advantages. Always someone to play with, always interesting things going on.
Big family dinners are not just for Sundays or holidays. Big family dinners are everynight at our house.
People also ask about the future. What if something happens to me and here is this house full of children without a mother? Yes, that's an unpleansant thought, but are they no better off than if they hadn't joined this mega family? They were orphans without a family. They will have each other and my extended family and friends that have become their extended family and friends. And anyway, who says I'm on the way out? I have a plan just in case, but I'm not planning on leaving this earth until my work is done. Just read through my previous postings to see that this mega famly has been brewing since I was a little girl. I didn't just realize my dream and then plan on checking out! Things are just starting to get interesting!
The only down side of this current journey is that I will have to leave these kids behind for two weeks. That breaks my heart. But if I reframe it for all of us, it will be a learning experience. We will all grow from the mom being gone for two weeks. I'm not real sure on that one, am I?
My dossier is in the girls country right now getting translated. Once that is completed it will be submitted to the government and I will be given permission to come to meet my daughters. I'm hoping to go in mid to late September, after school begins, but not too close to the holidays. I'm hoping to not be gone during anyone's birthday, but with this many kids, it's always a possiblity no matter when I go.
The why isn't important. What is important is the who.
The who is Maria. The who is Sofia. These are two little girls, half way around the world, who have lived in institutions for their whole lives. No family, no visitors, no party dresses, no Sunday school, no hope. Maria is now 8 years old and Sofia almost 10.
Maybe the why is hope. Maybe that's what I can offer to them, besides being part of a mega family. I can offer them hope. Maybe that is what is driving me....and it's not just hope for them. This is a rotten time to be traveling. spending money, bringing home extra mouths to feed. But by defying the world economy and forecasts of doom, adding to my family now is a sign of hope that life goes on. An act of faith that I am doing the Father's work.
What I've learned over the past 19 years of taking in orphans, is that being part of a mega family has many advantages. Always someone to play with, always interesting things going on.
Big family dinners are not just for Sundays or holidays. Big family dinners are everynight at our house.
People also ask about the future. What if something happens to me and here is this house full of children without a mother? Yes, that's an unpleansant thought, but are they no better off than if they hadn't joined this mega family? They were orphans without a family. They will have each other and my extended family and friends that have become their extended family and friends. And anyway, who says I'm on the way out? I have a plan just in case, but I'm not planning on leaving this earth until my work is done. Just read through my previous postings to see that this mega famly has been brewing since I was a little girl. I didn't just realize my dream and then plan on checking out! Things are just starting to get interesting!
The only down side of this current journey is that I will have to leave these kids behind for two weeks. That breaks my heart. But if I reframe it for all of us, it will be a learning experience. We will all grow from the mom being gone for two weeks. I'm not real sure on that one, am I?
My dossier is in the girls country right now getting translated. Once that is completed it will be submitted to the government and I will be given permission to come to meet my daughters. I'm hoping to go in mid to late September, after school begins, but not too close to the holidays. I'm hoping to not be gone during anyone's birthday, but with this many kids, it's always a possiblity no matter when I go.
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