Court is over, packing to go home

Court went fine - except the translator got me crying before I went in because she told me they were going to ask about my perceptions of the girls progress while I was with them. When I told her how slow Molly Jane was to trust and then how fully she embraced me, I couldn't even go on talking because the grief just grabbed hold of me again.
My heart is so heavy knowing that I was part of this system that gives these little ones a taste of what a mother's love feels like and then dash those little feelings when I hand her back to the orphanage. Talk about being part of instilling RAD in a child. This is also the only thing I hated about being a foster parent. You feel like you are contributing to a bad system and that the child's best interest is talked about, but they system doesn't always walk the talk.
How many times can a child go through being abandoned without loosing them to a life of trusting no one?
As I said, court was fine, although it was a different set of women on the bench and so I felt like I had to start all over with why a child with DS and not a 'healthy" child. They wanted to know if I understood the diagnosis and all the potential complications that could show up. I told them about my son Jacob and how sick he was as a baby with his heart and lungs and feeding tube and O2, etc. and then I told them how strong and wonderful he is now and how his life is very full and rich because he is loved and accepted by his family and community. And luckily I had emailed my pediatrician about Molly Janes' issues so I could truthfully tell them that I had consulted my Doctor and that he feels that I am expereinced and realistic enough that I can handle whatever all this turns out to be.
They agreed that I would be a good placement for the girls and they gave their approval. Next court is civil court and that will makes it legal. I'm hoping I don't have to wait too long for that court date.
This morning I am packing up and wrapping gifts for my attorney and facilitator. They more than earned their money. They had to drive me to two different orphanages both a good distance from the city and then with Myia needing to go back to the hospital twice during the two weeks - and it was a good 40 minutes from the city....and then they had to deal with the big Mama baby who has cried the last two times they've seen me...whew! I'll be lucky if they let me come back!!! LOL
The challenge in going home is not the flights to the States. The challenge is can I get from the airport to my house. Western WA has been hit with the coldest temperatures in 18 years and at my house there are 5" snow on the ground and the roads are iced over. Tonight is supposed to be 90 ph winds and more snow or ice showers. I might get stuck in the airport in SEATTTLE! Ha! Who would figure you can fly 1/2 way around the world and then get stuck 40 miles from home! Shuttle Express won't make a commitment to get me home! My parents put the studs on my small van and they're going to try to come and get me. Please pray for their safety!